Damned if We Do, Damned if We Don't

As victims, we are damned if we come forward, and we are damned if we don't.

If a victim comes forward to face her perpetrators, she is judged by people as "greedy for money" and "celebrity status." She is told that she is "pathetic," "stupid," and a "disgrace to women." She is subjected to even more hurtful insults. Most people who post these comments are anonymous, but some people proudly wear their judgment on their sleeve. 

If a victim does not come forward to face her perpetrators, her photos continue to be disseminated and reposted. She lives in constant fear, not knowing where the perpetrator will post next and to whom he will send her photos. Her boss? Her parents? Her children? The website owners refuse to take her photos down. The only way for the victim to get the photos down and ensure that her perpetrator will not post again is to file a lawsuit against the website owners and perpetrators. Unfortunately, when a vicitim files a lawsuit, it is in public records and anyone in the community can access it.  If a victim still tries to hide, the public speculates on the case and draws erroneous and hurtful conclusions.

Due to the above reasons, it has taken me two and a half years to gather the courage to come forward. Following are some real comments made by real people about my decision to do so. They have brazenly included their identities with their comments.  Some of them are admittedly friends of of the man who is the defendant in my injunction for relief case. This injunction for relief is asking the Court to order the defendant not to carry out his threat to circulate initimate material of me. I hope these comments offer a glimpse into why other victims are too scared to come forward.  It's not easy being prey in a feeding frenzy of vultures.