Saturday
Jan012011

5 Things That Really Suck About Being an Involuntary Porn Star vs. a Voluntary Porn Star

A lot of things suck about being an involuntary porn star. Here, I am listing them all, in order from sucky to suckiest.

1) Voluntary porn stars have really cool names.  For instance, we have Lisa Lipps, Diamond Foxxx, Annie Sprinkle, and Alexis Texas. Then there's my name.  It doesn't rhyme, it seriously lacks alliteration, it doesn't brag about any part of my anatomy, and it doesn't make you think of totally hot carbohydrates like cupcakes. If you're going to splatter me all over a porn site, at least give me a cool name. 

2) Voluntary Porn stars get to wear body makeup.  Not only do they have the luxury of suffocating every little precious pore of their bodies with Sally Hansen body spray, but they get to brush their hair. My involuntary porn star hair has Ddosed the website from sheer volume quite a few times (and you thought it was Anonymous).

3) Voluntary porn stars get to meticulously shave their hoohas before their close-up. The only thing more embarassing than having nude photos of myself on crappy websites is the magnification of my prickly-haired vagina.

4) Voluntary porn stars don't have to deal with the threat of geo-mapping of their homes. Why? Because they've had sex with Ron Jeremy.  And everyone knows Ron Jeremy will kick your ass. Me? Well, I have, um, my mom.

5)  Voluntary porn stars actually get paid for what they do. WTF? Hell, I've had about 6,000 views on my crap. But do I get to go shopping for Louis Vuitton 6" high lucite sandals? Of course not. Because I am an involuntary porn star.  I need to go start a f**ing union. Or maybe I could start an Involuntary Porn Star Scholarship Fund. That would solve everything. Well, actually, getting the f**ing photos down would solve everything. But hey, all you sh*t state laws that protect sick, demented trolls: That's way too easy, right? Right.

Reader Comments (6)

The girl is just as much at fault as the guy.I have yet to understand why in the world would a girl or woman take naked pictures of herself and then email or text them to someone. She could easily take pictures and provocative clothing and that will suffice.I do not agree with the guy who posted the nude photos but the woman is just as responsible.

February 2, 2013 at 11:36AM | Unregistered CommenterDennis D.

Careful Dennis, Your ignorance is showing. Why in the world would a girl or woman take naked pictures? Perhaps because MEN not only demand them, but attach them with "proving your love for them". Maybe if MEN weren't so self-centered, shallow, and drowning in self-esteem issues; they wouldn't feel the need to beg for them and objectify their significant others in such a way. Saying women are to blame because they send them in confidence, is like saying women who are raped are to blame because they were born with a vagina and placed herself in the presence of a man. Again, ignorance. May God bless you for that.

February 2, 2013 at 5:15PM | Unregistered CommenterWonder woman

I disagree with both of you. For the victims of this (mostly women), they likely would never have consented to the use of their pictures in that way. They are victims of actions that will impact them forever. It's a shame that someone can't have trust in another these days.

For the men receiving the pics though, I know many guys who've recieved naked pics from their grilfriends, and they consisently state that they never asked for them. I've personally received nude pics from several women and I've never requested one. I've even asked them to stop and they continue to send. I question why they would email and/or text such a potentially harmful thing, I warn them about the risks, but they're just persistent. I've even picked up my phone to find my girlfriend has taken candid pics of herself with it while I was away. This exhibitionism seems a part of many women's personality. Anyway, I don't buy the claim that it's men's fault for pressuring girls to pose nude. I personally could never violate someone's trust as some have on these websites, but damn, the risks are obvious.

February 9, 2013 at 2:52AM | Unregistered CommenterRuss

My ex posted one video that I could see on a website called xnxx but he is still tormenting me on a site called revengemail ( posting my personal info , my moms name, where I live and more) and states he has more videos and claims to have them posted all over the world. I had no idea he was videotaping me and never said it was ok. I didn't sign anything and I never got a dime if he is making money off it. I am long term unemployed and he brags about being the reason I can't find a job. Since being out of work I experience bouts with Fibromyalgia, Sleep Apnea and Anxiety.

February 9, 2013 at 1:32PM | Unregistered Commentercandy

Candy, a lot of what describe sounds like it would be criminal in many states. Secretly recording, dissiminating the images/videos, harassing you, stalking. Have you spoken to law enforcement?

February 10, 2013 at 2:22PM | Unregistered CommenterRuss

Hi Russ yes I have called my local police too many times to count, but thanks to the recent class action lawsuit I may have some help getting getting to the point of busting the ex roommate for her online stalking and the jerk who posted the video(S) he made more than one clip, so far I found 2 and the investigator said I was on the site being sued. I am a nervous wreck. The ex roommate and ex bf have been slandering me on a revenge site and stated that numerous people have been contacted and that I am the cause of breakups etc. How am I the cause? I have been dealing with this now apparently about 5 or more years thanks to the ex roommate being a psycho and contacting any man I dated.

February 17, 2013 at 4:55PM | Registered Commentercandy
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